Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Pop vs. Soda, MI vs. MO
Oh my goodness, I think I'm finally an official Michigander.
I was making a shopping list this morning for the big New Year's blowout, and wrote down, without even thinking, POP! Yep, I wrote pop instead of soda!!!
Next thing you know, I'm going to be eating pasties and hunkering to go ice fishing!
I moved to Michigan twelve years ago from Missouri and still insist on saying ya'all, even though my Michigan children mock me when I do. I still make gooey butter cake, sweet tea, and toasted raviolis. But, less and less.
In fact, I took the following test and passed. Scary!
YOU MIGHT BE A MICHIGANDER IF...
... you define summer as three months of bad sledding.
... you have an ice rink in your backyard.
... your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake.
... your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!).
... snow tires come standard on all your cars.
... at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry.
... you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.
... you can identify an Ohio accent.
... owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.
... you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike.
... you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up.
... you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.
... someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..."
... "Down South" to you means Toledo.
... you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.
... octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.
... traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon.
... you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or loopers," but not Fudgies, as that's too offensive for your "ant" and uncle.
... the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Caeser's and Hungry Howie's.
... a Big Mac is something you can drive across.
... you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island.
... you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones.
... your kid's baseball and softball games games have been ever been snowed out.
... the trees in your backyard have spigots.
... you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists.
... you bake with "soda" and drink "pop".
... you know what a pastie is.
... you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right.
... your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus.
... you have a favorite hockey team.
... you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's.
... you know what a Vernor's is.
... you know how to play Euchre.
... you know how to pronounce Euchre (not to mention Sault St. Marie and Ypsilanti).
... you find yourself incapable of throwing cans and bottles away when you are in another state.
... you use the term "party store" to describe a store where you buy snacks, beer and liquor.
... you know how to pronounce panczki, and what you can do with one.
... you've used the term "Yooper."
... you've heard the band "Da Yoopers."
... you've ever told someone that your move to Alpena was a move to "a big city."
... you've totaled more than three cars bagging a deer.
... you can't understand why the government feels threatened by the Freemen.
... Kazoo is not a toy, but a town (who actually calls it Kalamazoo anyway?).
... you refer to Ann Arbor as A2.
... "The Haven" is another term for Grand Haven, "Nasty Hatchet" for Bad Axe, and "Hazeltucky" for Hazel Park.
... Big Beaver is a road, not an animal.
... you call Lake Michigan the West Coast.
... a sunny day qualifies as a holiday.
... you recognize these people by one name: J.P., Sonny, Soupy, Coleman, Rosa, Mitch, Mort, Eli, Sparky, Bo, Barry, Stevie, Gordie.
... you know someone from Porch Yeurn.
... you know where the city of Ocqueoc is AND can pronounce it.
... you know that Ontonogan isn't a geometry term.
... you know that Saline isn't just a term for contact solution.
... your car rusts out before the brakes wear out.
... your "Go Lions" cheer is followed by "...and take the Tigers with you."
... the word "thumb" brings to mind an axe, not a body part.
... your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, and the first day of deer season.
... there are really only TWO seasons: hockey season and off-season
... your snowmobile and fishing boat have big block Chevy engines.
... you want Toledo BACK!
... you think "going up north" would be a great vacation...in January.
... you know at least two yooper jokes
... fudge and bicycles remind you of your honeymoon.
... November 15 is a paid holiday from work.
... you can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their locations around your left and right hands.
... you don't cross picket lines.
... you eat muskrat on Fridays during Lent because it's "seafood" (well, it's wet at least...).
... you can sing along with YES MICHIGAN, DIA or old Faygo commercials.
... you know what's on the corner of 9 Mile and Mack.
... saying "50 watts per channel babycakes" with a Russian accent brings a chuckle.
... you know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities (and people!) as well as cars.
... you've ever gone "trolling for taillights."
... you can travel through Detroit and not get mugged.
... your idea of creative landscaping is putting an extra pair of pink flamingos next to your blue spruce.
... the highlight of a Friday night date with your girlfriend is shining for deer.
... you know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald."